


A Spike in my Heart

by YourCoffinDoor



Category: Gerard Way and the Hormones, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Biting, F/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22250020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourCoffinDoor/pseuds/YourCoffinDoor
Summary: Your new boyfriend is more than a bit mysterious. After disappearing for a week, he shows up at your door with a startling confession. Things only escalate from there.
Relationships: Gerard Way/Reader, Gerard Way/You
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy. Part 2 in works. Thanks for reading!

You pulled your fleece blanket tight around your shoulders as a spring thunderstorm began to intensify outside your window. You wanted to relax and enjoy it, since you loved rainy days more than any other, but your anxiety would rest for nothing and no one.

Your boyfriend Gerard had all but disappeared for the past week, with no calls or indication that he was still a living human. He was a frustratingly difficult person to reach, since he had never owned a cell phone or even an email address. Qualities that you once found odd but charming now made you curse his name.

You wondered if you even had the right to call him your boyfriend yet. Yes, you had been seeing each other for nearly two months now, but you and Gerard had never even kissed. He was strange when it came to physical intimacy,always keeping you at an arm's length, preferring to play the gentleman and taking things painfully slow. You teased him often for being stubbornly old-fashioned.

Not that you hadn't thought about kissing him since the day you met. He was immediately attractive despite his odd appearance- unkempt black hair that framed his alarmingly pale skin, with large hazel-green eyes surrounded by reddish, bruise-like shadows. His delicate features were dressed with a dangerous edge. Somehow, it only complemented his beauty.

The last time you saw him you tried to kiss him. It had been a casual date at your place, spending time together hunkered down on your couch watching black and white horror movies. Halfway through his film of choice, Dracula, Gerard struck up a conversation.

"Do you believe in anything like ghosts or vampires?"

"Like how they are in the movies?" you paused for a moment. "Not quite. But I think it would be foolish to think that we know everything there is to know about this world." 

He smiled as if he were somehow relieved by this response. "A very diplomatic answer. And if you were to run into one of these ghouls, would you be scared?"

"Depends on the ghoul," you stated matter-of-factly, "If we're talking Nosferatu, I'm running."

Gerard laughed. "What if it looked like the most beautiful, charming being you'd ever seen?"

"What, like you?" The words fell out of your mouth before you even had a chance to think. The atmosphere in the room changed immediately from lighthearted to deadly serious, romantic tension surrounding you like a thick fog. Your eyes traveled to his lips and you spoke again, no longer stopping yourself from being boldly honest.

"If it were you, I'd want you to bite me."

Gerard's pale face lit up briefly with what looked like desperate hunger.

"Is that so?" he said in a low voice.

It was, you thought to yourself, but you'd settle for a kiss. Instinctively,and nearly breathless, you leaned in towards him. His effect on you was unlike anything you'd ever felt-- How was he so otherworldly?

Your face was mere inches away from Gerard's when he suddenly tensed up. Embarrassment welled up inside you as he quickly turned his face away.

"Everything ok?"

Gerard clenched his jaw and stood up. "I'm... afraid I'm not feeling well, sugar. I better head off."

"Oh." was the only response you could muster, barely able to conceal the sadness in your voice. "Well, I hope you feel better soon." 

He merely nodded in your direction before wishing you goodnight and rushing out your front door.

And that was the last you'd seen of Gerard. You tried to force your brain to think of something,--anything else, but you'd fallen so hard for him that it felt like you were under his spell. You resigned yourself to gloominess, wrapping yourself tighter in your protective cocoon.

The storm outside intensified. Rain poured down in heavy sheets so loud that you felt as if you were lost at sea. In the midst of it all, you were shocked to hear what sounded like a quick succession of knocks on your door.

You paused for a moment, wondering what lunatic was out and about in this weather without a lifeboat, when three more knocks rang out with desperation. 

"Who is it?" you called out hesitantly as you took a few steps toward your door. 

"It's Gerard," a familiar but wearied voice called out, "please, can I come in?"

You rushed to open the door, your hand moving so quickly it fumbled on the lock. What the hell was he doing?

"Gerard!" you exclaimed at the sight of him, soaked through and and breathing heavily as if he'd over-exerted himself. "Come in, I'll grab a towel."

You stood back and let him shamble inside of his own accord, looking thoroughly like a stray dog who was expecting to be kicked.

"Don't worry about it. I doubt you'll want me here for long, anyway."

You closed the door behind him. A whirlwind of anger and sadness seemed to hit you all at once when you finally spoke again.

"So what made you come out of hiding?" your voice wavered as you tried to your best to remain composed. 

He turned to face you, and your anger softened to concern as you got a good look at him. He looked weak and exhausted, almost sick. His dark circles were pronounced, as if he hadn't had a night's sleep in the past week he'd been gone.

"I don't blame you for being angry. And after I tell you what I'm about to tell you, I'll understand if you never want to see me again."

You finally grasped from his tone just how serious the situation was. You tried to brace yourself for what he was about to tell you. Was it another girl?

"Gerard, what's going on?" you took a few steps towards him, but he moved backwards, just out of reach as usual.

He sighed deeply, as though resigning himself to an unknown fate. "Do you remember that conversation we had the last time I saw you?"

"While we were watching Dracula?" your confusion was deepening by the second. "What about it?"

He let out a short, sad laugh. "Well, I can't pretend anymore. They are real. I know because I am one. Y/N," he looked at me through strands of damp black hair, his eyes dark and heavy with burdens I couldn't begin to comprehend, "I'm a vampire."

You don't know why you weren't scared when he told you. Some people would gasp or run away, others would probably laugh at the absurdity of it all. Perhaps it was the shock of the news, but you simply paused, trying to wrestle your racing thoughts into a coherent sentence.

"Your hands." was all you had to say about his revelation, turning Gerard into the confused one, his dark brows furrowing.

"What?"

You smiled softly. "Your hands. That's why they were always so cold. You should have told me sooner, I wouldn't have spent so much time trying to warm them up."

Gerard wrung his hands, his eyes frosted with fear as he awaited your inevitable rejection. Your soft spoken words had caught him off guard.

"You're not scared?" his face flashed briefly with hope, before quickly darkening once more to a familiar sadness. "You should be. You ought to be disgusted." 

"Never." you whispered.

You saw his hands clench into fists. "I thought I could be something other than a monster. I thought I could have something with you that was beautiful and pure, but I can't. I let you get too far into my heart for your own good."

You didn't know if it was the sight of his distress, or the tangible regret in his voice, but you felt hot tears begin to well up in your eyes.

"Is that such a bad thing?"

Gerard looked for a moment as if he wanted nothing more than to rush over to you and offer his comfort, but he held back.

"It is if you get hurt."

For a moment, there was only heavy silence between you. Gerard began to sway slightly as if loosing coordination, his hand trembling as he reached for the wall to steady himself.

"Are you hurt?" you asked, once again stepping towards him.

"No, don't!" he hissed, causing you to jump at the brief but blinding sight of his bright white fangs. He lowered himself on your couch to prevent himself from falling over, regaining some composure. "I haven't fed for...awhile. I don't know that I trust myself around you. I'll leave just as soon as I'm able."

The memory of your rejected kiss sprung fresh into your mind. Everything was beginning to make sense.

"That's why you left so suddenly the other night," you said softly, "that's why you wouldn't kiss me."

Gerard looked heartbroken. "I wanted nothing more than to kiss you that night, Y/N. And I've spent every night since we met wondering which would be sweeter, your blood or your lips."

You sat down on the opposite end of the couch. "Then you deserve to find out."

"We can't."

"Don't you remember what I said during our last conversation?

"Yes, but--"

"Well I meant it. Gerard, I don't care what you are. I've been with you long enough to know that you're no monster. Besides, I'm not going to let you leave here in the state that you're in. Even if you still believe we shouldn't be together, you need blood."

"What if...what if I go too far?"

You pondered for a moment. "How about I give you a signal to tell you when to stop, like a safe word."

He considered. "If you think that's a good idea...then I'm willing to try it. What should the word be?" 

"How about Nosferatu?" you joked, hoping to alleviate some of his apprehension.

He smiled weakly. "Alright, if you're sure. Nosferatu it is." 

Gerard moved closer to you, and, still hesitant, brushed the hair from your face. He placed one icy hand on your cheek, causing a wave of goosebumps to rise on your skin. Your eyes locked with his, noticing how he gazed at you, how his eyes glowed softly like embers that needed only the slightest provocation to catch fire once again.

His lips landed gently on yours, causing what felt like a jolt of electricity to course throughout your body. After a moment it was if a switch flipped, and Gerard deepened the kiss. You felt the sharp tips of his fangs brush against your mouth, and yelped in surprise when one accidentally nicked your lower lip.

"I'm so sorry!" Gerard said, pulling back immediately to inspect the damage. A small rivulet of crimson gleamed from the corner of your mouth, and you licked it away before it could drip onto your clothes. You looked back up at Gerard and noticed a different expression cross his face. It was darker, more animalistic, like a wolf that had just spotted a wounded deer. There was no going back now.

"Don't be sorry."

He leaned in and kissed your neck. "You have no idea what you do to me."

You shivered as he nipped at your delicate skin, moaning slightly with each movement of his lips. You felt his fangs rest against your neck momentarily, as if giving you one last chance to change your mind.

"Do it." you breathed, and that was the only encouragement he needed.

Gerard sunk his teeth into your flesh, allowing a warm stream of blood to flow freely. You cried out at the pain, as it was sharper than you had been expecting, causing your eyes to water. Gerard didn't pull back this time. Instead he latched on, fully intoxicated by your taste.

After a few moments the pain subsided, and the warmth of Gerard sucking at your neck felt almost pleasant. You realized then that this was far more intimate than any kiss could ever be, and you began to revel in the feeling, allowing a soft whimper to escape your lips.

Still he drank, and you were helpless, utterly lost in the sensation. Your neck began to tingle and feel numb, which you paid no mind to at first; but it soon traveled down your arms and up through your lips, until your whole body was being pricked with pins and needles. You opened your eyes and realized just how dizzy you were. You were seeing double, your vision slowly fading to black.

Too much, he had drunk too much and you hadn't even realized. You opened your mouth to speak but found that your mouth wouldn't cooperate. It was only after you began to go limp that Gerard seemed to notice anything was wrong, and he finally withdrew his fangs from your neck, grasping your face with his hands.

You were fading fast, but you could distinctly make out the distress in his voice as he called your name. It wasn't enough to prevent you from slipping into unconsciousness as Gerard held you, making the last sound you heard his horrified cries, begging you not to go.


	2. Chapter 2

Everything was black. Voices washed over you like gentle waves in a calm ocean, and among them was a familiar male voice that you couldn't yet identify, but somehow understood he was speaking to you. 

Don't leave me, it said. Don't leave me, over and over, and you cut through the darkness looking for the source of the voice so you could tell him you never would. You're right here, why can't he find you and take you where there's light?

You weren't sure now if you were asleep or dead, dreaming or in purgatory. At times you could feel icy hands on your forehead or resting for a moment on your cheek. You seemed to drift in and out of consciousness, sometimes hearing those around you, before falling back into nothingness.

If this was sleep, you often dreamed of Gerard. The setting was always the same-- You were attending some sort of formal function, both of you dressed to the nines. You always were taken aback by how handsome he was in his suit, and you told him so, certain he would blush if it were possible for a vampire to do so.

He would pull out a slim box and offer it to you. 

"A present." he informed you shyly. Inside was a stunning garnet necklace far more extravagant than anything you had ever owned before. The crimson gems were cut in a teardrop shape and gleamed as they caught the light from seemingly every angle.

He offered to put it on for you, and you eagerly agreed. His hands moved slow as they brushed the hair from the back of your neck as if savoring the sensation. It took a moment to secure the clasp, and you thanked him when he had accomplished his mission before asking how it looked on you.

The dream always ended the same. Gerard stepped in front to get a look at you, and his expression quickly changed from admiration to horror, tears welling in his hazel eyes.

"What is it?"

"I'm so sorry!" he would say repeatedly. "Y/N, please, I'm so sorry!"

Confused, you looked down and saw a trickle of familiar deep red run down your chest. You turned to find a mirror and screamed as you saw your reflection. They necklace was gone, replaced by a ring of bite marks and steady streams of blood.

It was from this dream that you finally jolted awake, finding yourself tucked neatly in your bed. You looked around to find no one, but noticed a chair had been brought to the side of the bed, a sign that someone had been caring for you.

You heard movement just outside your bedroom door and listened as a muffled argument carried on. 

"You should have never starved yourself to that point." an unknown male voice hissed. "It's fucking dangerous, Gerard."

"I realize that," he lamented bitterly, and you longed to reach for him and to tell him it was ok.

"You need to come to terms with what you are. It's not going to change." 

Gerard's voice was low, defeated. "And how do you suggest I do that Frank? I feel like a parasite."

"Y/N doesn't think so."

"And look what I did to her!" His voice rose, filled with anger instead of self pity. "Look what happens to people I love when I'm honest about what I am!"

Frank was silent for a moment. "You love her? Have you told her?"

"No," Gerard replied, voice grim, "and now I might not get the chance."

You felt a warm flush bloom on your pallid cheeks upon hearing Gerard confess his feelings. You noticed that there was a glass of water left on your bedside table by your caretaker, and you reached for it in hopes of calming yourself down. Instead your shaky hand sent the glass tumbling to the floor, silencing the discussion outside your door with a loud splash and shatter.

The bedroom door opened immediately and Gerard rushed in, planting himself by your side. He reached his hand towards you instinctively, but quickly drew it back, as though he was afraid he would do more harm than good.

"Y/N," his eyes were filled with relief, "I'm...I'm so glad you're awake."

You instead reached towards him, clasping his hand in yours. "Thanks for looking after me. How long has it been?"

"Almost two days," came a voice from the doorway. You looked over to find a man leaning against the door frame, arms folded. "See, I told you Y/N would be fine." He gloated to Gerard before turning his attention back to you. "I could hear your heartbeat from the front door. Kept telling Gee you weren't a goner."

Gerard looked mortified, much to your amusement.

"Thanks for your input, uh... sorry who are you?"

"Name's Frank. Gerard's band-mate, fellow bloodsucker. Hope you don't mind my being here. Gerard called me over for help."

You smiled softly. "Not at all." 

Gerard cleared his throat, glaring at Frank who stood smirking in the doorway.

"Guess I should give you guys some privacy," he said, turning to leave, but quickly stopped in his tracks. "Oh yeah, are you gonna tell her what you told me?"

"Jesus Frank, she just woke up!"

Frank shrugged. "You're right. Give her a good five minutes to breathe before you tell her you're in love with her."

"Frank!"

Frank laughed to himself, closing the door behind him.

It was quiet for a moment, but the silence was heavy with words that were aching to be said. Gerard fidgeted with his fingers, trying to prevent them from reaching for you again. 

After a moment, he suddenly stood up. "I should get you a new glass of water, you must be thirsty."

"That can wait," you insisted, grabbing the edge of his shirt before he could disappear, "Stay with me."

Slowly he returned to his watch post beside the bed. You decided to break the ice.

"I'm not mad. I'm not scared. And I'm feeling better by the second. You don't need to be worried."

"Easier said than done I'm afraid," he forced a soft laugh, his crooked smile expressing more sadness than he intended.

"Were you sitting there this whole time?"

"How could I be anywhere else? I had to make sure you were going to be ok. You seemed to be having some intense dreams, you were tossing and turning."

You decided against burdening him with the details of your nightmare. "Doesn't matter now that I'm awake. Besides, I don't even remember what they were about."

Gerard tucked a strand of unkempt black hair behind his ear. "Well, anyway, at one point I felt your forehead and it seemed warm--well warmer than usual to me--and I was worried you were getting a fever, so I called Frank over here for help. He's good in situations like these. I mean, not that I've been in this situation before...I was so worried, Y/N. But he kept telling me you were fine, that I definitely did overdo it but you also probably just had a bad reaction--"

You cut off Gerard’s awkward rambling with a tight embrace, catching him off guard. His body was tense, but soon melted into your touch.

"Thank you," you murmured, your head on his shoulder.

"I don't know if thanks are necessary...since I caused the problem." he mused softly. "Y/N, you don't deserve to be dragged into a life like this."

"Gerard, is it true? What Frank said?"

His eyes widened. "Huh?"

"He said you're in love with me. In fact, I may have heard you say it myself just outside the door there."

Gerard nervously tousled his hair with one hand, as if he were hoping to find the right answer within it.

"Its true. I know its a lot to process and...we only just went over the whole vampire thing...you don't need to feel obligated or anything. But Y/N, I've never felt they way I feel about you before. Not for anyone or anything. I thought I couldn't have normal things like a relationship...but being with you makes me feel like there's a chance for happiness."

He had looked away in the course of stumbling through his off-the-cuff confession, gazing instead at the floor. His nervous, awkward affection only served to endear him to you further.

"Then listen. I told you before, I don't care what you are. I love you. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I want you to know that I'm in this with you now. And if you let me in, we can figure it all out. Together."

He turned to look at you, eyes warm with affection. "I'll never let it get out of hand again. I promise. There'll be no repeat of this."

"There is one part I'd like a repeat of."

"Oh?"

You hoisted yourself up on the bed and leaned in towards Gerard, gently planting your lips on his, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. You lingered there for a moment, savoring the kiss and the rush of endorphins that came with it.

"Feel free to let that get out of hand as often as possible."

Gerard grinned, and lay down next to you in the bed. You spent the next moments holding each other in silence, knowing that you had eternity to figure out whatever came next.


End file.
